Stance Trance

from Internal Gong Fu by Mike

Notes from my July 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang.

  • When I “zone out” or “go into trance” this means I’m not staying connected to feeling, hence, not feeling. Being present, being here, now and not “tranced-out”, is an important step to feeling connection.
(Back in July 2009, I blogged an article titled: [Zhan Zhuang; Breaking the Stance Trance](http://internalgongfu.blogspot.com/2009/07/zhan-zhuang-breaking-stance-trance.html) in which I wrote about this experience as I understood it then. Now, after two more years of working on this I understand and feel more deeply.)
  • The process I experienced and moved through in the July 23rd class. Breaking stance trance.
(If none of this makes sense to you or seems a bit "mystical", all I can say is that after two years of working on this, I can now notice more easily when I'm blocking or open to feeling, for example, when I'm dealing with some every-day life "situation" that I don't want to feel or when I hit a newer, deeper level of connection in zhan zhuang practice that feels completely awesome. I still tend to block the flow but opening in class and training is becoming easier and less painful. Another level of sensitivity and feeling.)
  • When I feel anxiety, I notice the opportunity to ahhhhhh (exhale).
  • Question: How do I figure out this presence thing?
Answer: Instead of trying to figure it out in your head, try to figure it out in your body. Then instead of trying to figure it out, simply feel. Question to me: How hard do you have to try to figure this out? (Instructor touches my shoulder.) Ne: Not hard at all. I just feel it. Instructor: Exactly!
  • I now notice when I’m out there or in here. I am noticing opportunities to be here.
  • I feel the presence feeling and connection as a very soft feeling. I can get there and here myself.
  • Making movies and pictures inhibit my progress and slows me down.
  • Becoming aware of feeling overloaded vs feeling overwhelmed. I feel secure with overloaded but overwhelmed with feeling still freaks me out.
  • What is the opportunity? Noticing the opportunity can be pretty good medicine.
  • I get stuck in my pictures… until now….
  • Are you noticing out there (space)? Can you notice feeling in here (body)?
  • I’m beginning to feel presence my self. I feel anxiety when I bring my pictures closer.
  • Where are you? Here? What do you feel? Bring your attention into your body. What is the opportunity? To bring feeling inside.